The only thing that I know for certain is that I am…I exist. It seems like this is all I’ve ever truly known . . . but of this I cannot be sure. All that I am sure of is that here now I am.

What I am I have no idea of . . . or at least no idea that can be trusted in the same way as this most intimate sense of being – this knowledge of my existence. Many possibilities have presented themselves – that I am an entity, a being, a thing, a human, a person . . . but none of these ideas has ever presented itself in a way that could be trusted. So I’ve come back to the certainty of knowing that I exist and nothing more.

I have entertained ideas that I might be limited by the physical body, the time markers of birth and death, and the physical world in which I appear . . . and then at times my ‘mind’ has thrown up thoughts that I am eternal, limitless, unborn, undying, the unbounded pure awareness of the absolute . . . The simple truth is that I have absolutely no idea what I am. How could I?

To know what I am, I would need to be able to trust my senses and my reasoning . . . and I have found that I can trust neither. Because both my perceptions and my capacity for reason appear within my consciousness, the source of which remains unknown, I have been forced to recognize that I simply cannot know the significance of anything that I might perceive or imagine.  My senses, my reasoning, and the ideas of ‘others’ have all been found to be untrustworthy.

Discovering that I can’t know anything beyond the basic fact that I exist, I have been able to give up the search for any kind of absolute knowledge. I have relaxed into the mystery of this existence, letting go of my beliefs that have been worshipped for so long as ‘truth’. Finally I can live in peace.

The bliss of ignorance


chapter one – knowledge of ignorance (extract)


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